A women’s group living in a Kenyan trash dump is on the verge of setting up a European market to sell the crafts they produce from mounds of steaming, stinking garbage.

We strongly believe that whenever a group of women come together, the world is a better place. Enjoy the article.

Be well,
Karen & Pat

Though stress is part of everyone’s life, the question is how do you manage the stress you experience?  Do you even think that you can or just say to yourself “that’s life?”    Do you feel helpless and don’t know where to turn in order to deal with the daily hardships?   There are decisions and actions you can take to help you manage the stress levels in your body.

In the article on WebMD, I found the following Stress Management Tips for you to review.  If you want to read the whole informative article, go to “Manage Your Stress for Good Health.”

Stress Management Tips

It’s impossible to completely avoid stressful situations. But you can learn how to manage stress. Try these tips for stress-free days:

• Get enough sleep and eat a healthy diet. Get 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night so you have the energy to cope with stressful situations. Fill up and fuel your body with healthy choices rather than getting bogged down by high-fat comfort foods.
• Nurture close relationships. Often, we don’t appreciate how important friends and family can be for good health, says Nordal. “For example, we know that older adults live longer, happier lives if they’re partnered.”
• Learn to say “no.” This can be hard for many people, but saying no to one extra task at work or to that volunteer project can give you breathing room for other things in life.
• Learn to let go. Remember, the sky won’t fall if you wait another day to do laundry, clean the bathrooms, or write that thank-you note.
• Try new ways to relax. Some studies have found that yoga, meditation, and relaxation exercises may help reduce stress in people. Yoga will also help build strength and flexibility.
• Get help if you need it. If you can’t get seem to get relief from under stress and nothing seems to help, talk with a counselor.

“A lot of things related to stress come down to lifestyle and choices that people make,” says McEwen. By taking time for the basics: a healthy diet, plenty of sleep, regular exercise, and strong social connections, you’ll have the resources you need to help tackle whatever life throws your way.

Final Thoughts
Even if you are not aware that you are carrying stress around in your body, the above tips are important to take care of yourself.   Start with one of them today, work on it for 30 days and see how you are doing by the end of the month.  Then move onto the next one.  In only six (6) months you can make a significant difference in your life.

Be well,
Karen & Pat
maximize the value of the women in your life

 How do we keep members committed to consistently showing up for each meeting?

 This is a big issue. It’s not difficult to appeal to women and attract them into showing up for a new group and attending a meeting or two. But keeping their interest and enticing them to come back for more is a tougher problem.

Whether you are the leader of the group or a member, consistency is important to the formation and success of any group. Attending on a regular and consistent basis is of primary importance.  Building a strong group is a journey. It takes time to build the necessary trust for each member.  It takes time for your group to coalesce and have meaningful interactions.

We have come up with the following points to help you motivate your members’ interest in the group and keep them wanting to continue.

What’s Your Vision?
Be clear about your vision. Why do you want to bring the women together?  Initially, this is all about you because you are starting the group and need to think in terms of what you want and in what direction you want it to go.  The clearer you are about your vision, the easier it will be to communicate it to potential members and motivate them to join your group.  Remember though, you are only half of the equation in the success of your group – the other half is the group members themselves.

What’s In It For Me?
Once you’ve established this great vision of what your group will do and be, you know what type of women you would like to have in your group.  This is important!  Yet, after you create your vision, you need to step back and ask yourself, “What’s in it for them?” 

You can be sure that your early participants will be thinking, “What’s in it for me?”

If you continually ask this question of yourself and your members, you will find that you’ve created a foundation that intrigues members to continue to participate.  So, what’s in it for the women in your group?

The focus of your group is important.  After all, that’s what brought your women together in the first place. Keep in mind that there is another, unidentified yet equally important, reason for women to join the group – to meet other like-minded women and build relationships.

Women will gravitate towards relationships…it’s important to them.

Help Women Build Relationships
In the early stages, you are balancing two foundational aspects of a successful group: focus and relationships.  Always remembering the main purpose for the group and building upon it keeps your group focused.  Creating lots of opportunities for the women to get to know each other, interact and share who they are with other members brings them closer to each other and more committed to the group as a whole.  It is most important at the early stages that you create an environment that will help women start sharing.

As soon as women begin sharing who they are and letting others “know” them, that means they feel safe and are committing to the group.  If your group isn’t bonding, check in as to why your members decided to join your group.  Find out what stops them from feeling safe in the group.  Maybe it’s how you’ve structured the meeting – too often or not soon enough, too formal or not structured enough. Maybe there are some who aren’t on the same page with other members or some who tend to criticize others. This is damaging to the group.  Keep checking in with members and look for ways to improve your group.

Do You Have The Right Members?
If you want a group that focuses on finance and the members are interested in self-help, you won’t be able to keep their interest.  Sometimes your focus is too broad and doesn’t hold the interest of the group.  In the early stages of the group you will be soliciting the members’ input to determine the right focus of the group for everyone.  Be patient as this is a process over time and the wrong members will fall away when the topic doesn’t interest them.  This way you keep building the right type of group for you and your committed members.

What Structure Will You Create?
The structure of the group can be flexible and still create a consistent group membership.  At the beginning, it may be appropriate to invite new people to meetings on a regular basis, constantly expanding your group’s network. This may work for your group over the long term or you may decide to become more focused.

One group we know started out as open to all members who were interested in Spirituality.  It was based on a monthly Sunday brunch theme, pot luck, rotating houses, yet all topics addressed “What is spirituality?” to the members.

Women would come and go, yet after almost a year there is a core group that consistently shows up.  Why?  These women wanted to discuss spirituality with other women as well as build relationships.

After 8 months, the consistent members decided to close the group because it had developed a strong core membership.  These members decided that if someone didn’t show up for 3 monthly meetings in a row, she would be considered inactive and would be removed from the group email.  The group email is how members communicate to each other about the particulars of the next meeting, topics, etc.

The group started out open and then the members decided to close it in order to preserve the bonding that was occurring with the consistently attending members.  Again, be patient and keep creating an environment that supports bonding with your group members. It will strengthen your group.

Different Types of Personalities
Though it sometimes can be challenging to have different types of personalities interacting, the differences enhance the strength of the group by offering up the knowledge, skills and abilities each member brings to the group.  Of course, you do need to reign in some strong personalities in order to give the more quiet members a chance to contribute.

This is a great discussion point for your group.  How does the group ensure that all members have a chance to contribute?  Let them decide the ground rules as they will own it and you won’t have to work so hard giving everyone a voice.

Final Thoughts
Keep in mind that every time a member comes to a meeting it’s an opportunity for her to get to know the other women and start to bond.  The theme is what initially brought them to the first meeting…bonding with other women is what keeps them coming back.

Let us know what other issues you have either as a leader or a member of a women’s group.  

Be well,

Karen & Pat
maximize the value of the women in your life

**********Are You Interested in Starting A Women’s Group**********

It is important to be aware of the non-verbal communication that may often come out during these meetings as well.

Everybody is aware of the way we communicate verbally with our mouths. We intentionally open our mouths and make a statement. We may regret that statement afterward, but we intend to say it at the time nonetheless. However, we also use body language to give non-verbal clues into what we are thinking and feeling. Oftentimes, people do not intend to outwardly express what they are feeling with their bodies. Nevertheless, it does come out.

More often than not, our body language will betray a façade we try to put on so that no one is aware of our true thoughts or feelings. Why? Because those thoughts and feelings are often negative.

There are many different ways we can express ourselves through non-verbal communication. It can be a rolling of the eyes or a sigh. A sigh while shifting in one’s seat tends to really communicate displeasure with something or someone. Mumbling under one’s breath is often a telltale sign of one’s displeasure. Posture can also speak volumes. Slumping in a chair, especially with the arms crossed can really communicate that one is angry or upset with someone or something being said. If using any of these types of non-verbal cues while participating in a women’s group, you could very likely alienate the group as they read your displeasure with the members.

Another emotion we tend to communicate non-verbally is boredom. Whether it is the proverbial yawn or the constant shifting in one’s seat, expressing boredom through body language can make the rest of the group uncomfortable or defensive. Another manner in which boredom may be expressed is by getting up a lot, pacing the room, going over to a table where food is kept and picking at the food while everyone else is sitting, or getting up and going to the bathroom in the middle of a discussion. Engaging in these types of behaviors may very well offend others in the group who feel that the group is a valuable part of their time. Your body language may communicate to them that this group is more of a chore to you than a place that has value in your life.

The problem with body language is that it may communicate an unintended emotion. You may not actually be bored or upset, but you utilize these non-verbal cues for other reasons. For example, you may be a person who has a difficult time sitting still or you have a small bladder. The group may misread your body language to mean something else. If this is the case, you may want to verbalize the reason for what you are doing to make sure the group understands and does not take offense to how you are carrying yourself.

If you are a member of a women’s group, chances are you want to be there and enjoy the camaraderie of the group. As such, you should try to tune in to your body and how you carry yourself to determine if you may be giving off unintended messages through body language.

If so, try to be aware of your body language during these meetings and correct them so your group knows that you love being involved with them. 

Be well,
Karen & Pat
maximize the value of the women in your life

**********Are You Interested in Starting A Women’s Group********** 

When you look at your body, what do you think?

Intellectually, we all know we get older and we all know we are getting older, yet our emotional life is in an uproar when our bodies don’t look the same.  Have you ever looked into the mirror and thought “who is that person?”  In your head you are still quite young, yet the body that reflects back from the mirror is an older, less familiar version.  Do you scrutinize every grey hair or potential wrinkle on the horizon, or have you simply stopped looking?

What is inevitable?
The body changes!  Different areas of our bodies replace cells at varying intervals. Some are replaced every week and others take as long as a year.  We use our bodies, so potentially there is abuse as we go through our daily lives.  Our bodies are exposed to the elements, such as sun, and this environment will have an impact on our bodies.  Whatever the reasons, bodies change.

It is obvious that they change, yet what are your thoughts and feelings about the changes you see and how do you react to them?

What can we change?
Though aging is inevitable, we definitely have control over the process by creating a healthy environment for our bodies.  Lots of women commit to regular exercise, eat healthy as well as emotionally take care of themselves.  This type of activity helps refresh and replenish the body as well as the mind.

Science has afforded women the opportunity to look younger by cosmetic surgery.  Wanting to look younger for as long as possible is a natural feeling and more and more women are electing to have surgery to delay the look of aging.

If you don’t like how your body looks, you can always include a healthy eating plan and lose the extra weight.  We can choose to actively take care of our bodies.

There is an even more important change we can make…

Love It Anyway
The most powerful change we can make is to love ourselves and how we look in this present moment.  I know it sounds simple and it is.  We just have to put in some time and effort to reprogram our thoughts.  Here are some basic tools you can use on a daily basis to love your body, no matter what it looks like.

First, Louise Hay has a great tool called “mirror work.”  Here is how “mirror work” works: Go to your mirror or anytime you pass a mirror, look into your eyes and say “I Love you ____.”  In the blank, insert your name.  For example, if your name is Melinda, you would say, “I Love you Melinda.”  Sounds silly, sounds awkward, sound untrue?  It works!

Find out more about “mirror work” on Louise Hay’s blog:  http://www.healyourlife.com/blogs/louise-hay-blog/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall

Second, start a “Gratitude” journal and every day thank your body for doing what it does.  For example, “Body, thank you for getting me to work on time.”  “Body, I love to dance and thank you for helping me have fun.”  In the beginning, it’s usually good to have a specific time, say at the end of the day, where you thank your body for all the help it gave you during the day.  You find your best time and don’t forget to do this.

Remember
Whenever you do something new and different, at first you will feel awkward or silly because you are not use to it.  Yet, when you commit to 30 days of non-stop loving thoughts about yourself, you will respect your body for all the wonderful opportunities it affords you.  And you will journey through life’s body changes with a positive belief in yourself.

Final Thoughts
Keep in mind that although our bodies are important to our living, we are not only our bodies.  We are so much more!  Our bodies get us where we need to go, yet we are rich with wonderful ideas, contribute in the work place, help others and give and receive love in our lives.  Let your body be there for you so you can create the life you want and add value to the lives of others.

Be well,
Karen & Pat
maximize the value of the women in your life

**********Are You Interested in Starting A Women’s Group**********

The word “selfish” creates conflicting emotions for women.  On one side, it feels good to just think of yourself and not have to always be “on” for other people.  Then there is the other side, the one that society has laid down regarding a women’s role – the side that says being selfish is not what we would ever want others to think about us.  It’s just not feminine.

Why are we so fearful of being thought of as selfish? Mainly because we have a distorted interpretation of what selfish looks like.  It’s an all-or-nothing syndrome.  We are either selfish or caring.  It’s time we stop being fearful of the word and instead see the possibilities where being selfish is the right solution to a problem.

Being honest about our needs and wants is important.  It’s in honesty that we add the most value to the people around us.  Resisting being selfish is dishonest and hinders having a true intimate relationship with yourself and others.

Of course, if you haven’t been honest and start to be now, others will react and won’t want the change.  Does that make it wrong to be selfish?  Or are we just afraid of not being loved if we choose to take care of ourselves?

When you turn off the option of being selfish, you turn off your ability to nurture yourself.  In life, balance is crucial – balance between nurturing others and nurturing ourselves.  Both of these options enhance who we are as people.

What if women were to see selfish as “devoted to or caring for oneself?”  What if we were to acknowledge that we are the only ones who can care for ourselves as we know what we want?  What if selfish was good for you and for others as well?  If you took care of yourself and were true to your needs, would others really suffer or would they learn to care for themselves instead of looking to you for nurturance?

Another Reality

Lots of women subscribe to the belief that they are to be the nurturers and selfishness is considered an undesirable trait.  Yet, what if they are wrong and in  fact the undesirable trait is focusing all of your attention on others…being co-dependent?

A person who doesn’t perform selfish acts becomes burned out and has to find different ways to take care of her needs.  These same women may get angry, frustrated, overeat, feel alone, zone out in front of TV or overwork so they don’t have to look at their own ability to care for themselves.

Remember, extreme beliefs promote extreme behaviors in order to maintain and manage a belief that doesn’t serve you.

Even if you have young children who need caring, there is always time to care for yourself in a day, to carve out time just for you.  That’s what selfish is really about – caring for yourself.  We don’t have to go from caring exclusively for others to selfish and swing in this huge zone.  Rather, small selfish acts done for ourselves enhance our lives and the lives around us.  Stand up and be selfish today.

Final Thoughts

Words are powerful and sometimes we can’t change how we react to a certain word.  If your mind shuts down on the word “selfish,” and you just won’t even think of playing with that word, how about choosing another word that supports your well-being?  Is replacing the word selfish with self-care, wellness, time for one’s self, self-love, authentic self a better solution for you?  Find the word that best fits your vision of self-care and incorporate actions into your life that support it.

Be well,

Karen & Pat
maximize the value of the women in your life

**********Are You Interested in Starting A Women’s Group**********

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Step back and think about why you want to start a women’s group. There are many approaches to this question. 

Start by thinking about the problems you face in your daily life. Perhaps you are a mother who faces issues raising your children. Maybe you want to have greater control over your finances; or possibly you want to lose some weight, start exercising and lead a healthier lifestyle. Maybe you work from home and want to connect with other work-at-home moms.

Or, you could approach your “why” from a different angle. What are you most interested in? Is it reading, music, theatre, cooking, crafts or even shopping? Do you have a hobby or passion you’d like to share with others? What about learning something new?

Many women’s groups work well with a more amorphous theme. If you are simply interested in getting out of the house to meet some like-minded souls over coffee, that might be your theme – women and coffee. Once the group gets going, you may find that you all are interested in keeping the group focused, in which case you could settle on a somewhat narrower topic, such as “women who meet over coffee to discuss their lives” or “women who meet over coffee to discuss current events.”

When you understand your reasons for starting a group, you have a better chance at setting the groundwork for the type of group that will satisfy your “why.”

ACTION STEP: Create a list (short or long) of all of the reasons you want to start a women’s group. You may have many different reasons that don’t all go together or can’t all be accomplished in one group, and that’s okay. Just list them all so you can see what you truly have in mind.

This list will become the basis of your vision for the group.

Be well,
Karen & Pat
maximize the value of the women in your lives

**********Are You Interested in Starting A Women’s Group**********

Joining a women’s group can offer so much more than you ever thought possible.

You may be thinking of joining a group to expand your circle of friends or possibly to do some networking.

Maybe you want to join a group that involves a hobby that is of interest to you. You will get these things out of your group. But you will also find that this group will provide you with a place where you can relax and let your hair down. A place where you can share ideas and experiences and learn from the ideas and experiences of others.

A women’s group can become like a safe haven to many, where the environment is warm and comforting. You may find that when you are meeting with your group, the other cares and worries in your life disappear during that period of time. You will develop a bond with most, if not all, of the women in the group, which can result in lifelong friendships.

Whereas when you first thought about joining a women’s group, the time commitment may have seemed a little daunting, now you look forward to the next time the group will be meeting. You may even feel like the group does not meet as often as you would like. You start getting excited with anticipation when the next meeting is coming up. You may even start thinking of ideas on what things the group can do together or new places to meet.

One of the many advantages
of being a part of a women’s group is all of the information and helpful hints you can get out of it. Every person has their own experiences and knowledge. When you bring all of that experience and knowledge into one room, there exists a treasure trove from which to draw. You may be looking for a referral to a great doctor, book, repairman, or way to wean a child from a bottle. Chances are that at least one person in your women’s group has just the information you are looking for. You may learn things about taxes, the latest news, home values, etc., from knowledge women in your group. You may even learn about some activity that you never knew existed or have always wanted to try. Coming to the group and chatting with someone who has engaged in this activity may be just the thing to lead you to take on the challenge and adventure for yourself.

Joining a women’s group can end up overwhelming you with how much fulfillment it may bring to your life. You will likely wonder what took you so long to become a part of such a group. This group will become like a special second family to you that you will not want to live without.

Be well,

Karen & Pat
maximize the value of the women in your life

************ INTERESTED IN STARTING A WOMEN’S GROUP? ***********

What is important is the value of joining together and the value of being a part of this new venture. 

It’s funny but you will forever be seen as the leader of the group, even when other members surface up and actively participate in the growth and direction of the group. You started it. You were willing to take your idea and move it forward as a gift for yourself and others. What a wonderful way to make a difference to all who join you.

Just this small difference in their lives will impact their families and friends in very subtle, yet positive ways. These changes will spread to have an impact on the way they communicate with their neighbors and participate in their communities. And when people grow and communities change for the better, their countries and ultimately the world have been affected in a most positive way.

All because you had a vision and wanted to share it.

Karen & Pat
maximize the value of the women in your life

************ INTERESTED IN STARTING A WOMEN’S GROUP? ***********

What does your personal wellness include?

Wellness is holistic in nature as it includes physical, spiritual, emotional and financial aspects, as well as surrounds the relationships we have in our lives.

Take a moment now to reflect on your conversations with other women. Do you share your efforts at wellness or rather spend time judging how much weight you need to lose or physical characteristics that you don’t like? Be honest. How much time do you spend in negative judgments around your body or your problems? How much time do you spend thinking about your wellness?

All of us are entitled to healthy physical and emotional well being. It’s different for each of us, yet we know when we are there. We experience calm, clarity and a joy for life.

There are 3 simple wellness factors that you can easily pursue – eat healthy, exercise and drink lots of water. Those are the basic physical elements that support a well body. In addition, wellness also includes your emotional wellbeing. It’s part of your personal inner balance.

You can acquire balance in your life.

When you decide to focus on wellness, it changes your orientation toward your life. You don’t have to make major changes, rather start to think what wellness means to you. How would wellness show up in your life? Get curious about what a healthy “you” would look like and feel like.

Here are some areas of wellness

• Physical health – what would that look like to you? Each body is different yet we can choose to maximize our physical well being.
• Manage stress – important to recognize the difference between good stress and stress that hinders our wellbeing.
• Forgive yourself – build into your life compassion for yourself and others.
• Spiritual – what does being spiritual mean to you and can you create a spiritual practice in your life?
• Appreciation of what you have to offer yourself and others.
• Eliminate expectations – be present with what is in your life and experience gratitude. Expectations are breeding grounds for disappointment. Do we really need to add more disappointments into our lives?
• Add fun in your life – watch funny movies, go out with a close friend, remember to smile and enjoy your time.
• Creativity – express your creative side. By the way, creativity isn’t just about painting, writing, singing, or the more traditional forms of creativity. Rather creativity is an inherent right and need in all of us. Creativity is what makes us smile.

Final Thoughts

Get a cup of coffee or tea, find some private time and start to write your version of wellness. No expectations that you must institute a wellness program into your life, rather be curious about your definition of wellness. It’s your life and you get to express yourself in a way that best supports you. See what turns up. Then take a “small” step towards your personal vision of wellness.

If you are a member of a women’s group, this is a great topic. You may share similar visions of wellness yet each person will bring something unique that expresses who they are to the conversation. It’s always more powerful when we share who we are with others.

Be Well,

Karen & Pat
maximize the value of the women in your life